Yesterday was our last performance. When I went backstage to re-enter for the final bow, I felt such happiness.
I can not describe how amazing and exhilarating and insane The Edinburgh Fringe Festival is. I can tell you of all the amazing performers and stars that you are competing/performing against/with. I can write about how manic the Fringe can make you feel: amazing one minute and absolutely defeated the next. I can go on about how the capital of Scotland feels like you're walking around a Harry Potter book and magic surrounds you...but you can't really feel it unless you've experienced it yourself.
I hadn't realized how much I'd been focusing on "making it" at home in NYC. Booking a job, not booking a job. Networking. Going to the next level (whatever the frack that means). New York can be a tough city on your soul.
I came here with very concrete objectives:
1. Excellent reviews
2. Full audience everyday
3. 30% profit etc
4. To perform in front of people who were not family or friends.
5. A few other tight assed-objectives which I forgot...
Here in the Edinburgh Fringe, there were a lot of university students performing and I observed their objectives:
1. Getting drunk
2. Getting laid
3. Getting people to see their show
4. Having fun.
These goals were much more immediate, aligned more with the heart than with the intellect. These seem a more likely recipe for happiness. Being around them, I felt my own heart unclench (didn't even know it was clenched) and a warmth fill my soul.
I got what I wanted but also what I needed:
1. Pure joy for performing and theater
2. Seeing other works from all over the world and having my creative boundaries broadened
3. Being inspired over and over again by people
4. Learning how to unabashedly promote myself in person without flinching (though I'm still working on this one...)
4. Meeting great friends in the arts from all over the world
After the show, Jim asked: "Was it worth it?" Without a doubt, it was worth it.
This was all possible because of the following people:
Jim
Maddie
The In-Laws
Bro-In-Law
Regina Thonhauser and ALL SG's
Claire James - Producer
Kenneth Heaton - Director
Karen Fitzgerald
Matt Hoverman - Create Your Own Solo Show Guru
Charles Pamment - theSpaces UK
Wayne from Manchester
Simon Johnson
Aimme Johnson
Daniel Mejuto
The Awesome City of Edinburgh
Stephanie Erlich
Gabrielle Maisels
PJ Walsh
Farrah Greenbaum